Walking through the automatic doors of Sam’s Club, a wave of heat flows past me and the bright fluorescent lights force me to shield my eyes. The immediate aura is an eerie discomfort. 

In order to shield you, my fellow peers, the 81% percent of students who prefer Costco, from the horrors of Sam’s Club, I bravely went on an expedition through their doors in order to describe the inferior wholesale. 

My first goal was to locate the free samples. To my utter dismay they had only one. It was an automatic pretzel sample machine only offering one sample per card in contrast to Costco’s unlimited sample policy. However the machine was out of samples and I was left pretzel-less.

Hesitantly walking through the aisles, I began cataloging the prices. 10.98$ for two dozen eggs 3.32$ for a gallon of milk. All of these simply cannot compare to Costco’s low prices.

After my disappointment with the samples, I decided to head to the café to eat instead. I was planning to order an 87¢ slushy and a 1$ pretzel, both of which have no Costco alternative. Sam’s Club disappointed me again as I was told the pretzels would be unavailable for another 10 minutes. Once again I was pretzel-less

Even without the general bad vibes of Sam’s Club, their business practices still leave them inferior. Walmart owns Sam’s Club and they have never been kind to their workers. Walmart hires the most people in the US and pays low. As low as $8.25 an hour. They are constantly trying to prevent unionization, Going as far as to break the law in order to prevent workers supporting unions. This is seen in Wal-Mart Stores Inc. V. NLRB, where Walmart banned wearing anything related to unions and punished workers who supported strikes.

To physically and mentally recover from my horrible Sam’s Club expedition, I went back home to my beloved Costco. Instantly, it was a breath of fresh air. The lights weren’t scorching but gave a nice homey feel and I was welcomed back with a kind “Hi, good morning, it’s chilly-willy out there today” and instantly, I knew I was home.

Instantly I was showered with samples. Teriyaki, strawberries, chocolate, and fragrance free laundry soap. All delicious and infinite and free. All superior to Sam’s Club’s failure.

Heading back to the familiar café that would never leave me hungry or waiting. I rejoiced in a delicious meal of greasy Costco cheese pizza and felt as whole as their 18 inch $9.95 pizza.