It seems like every time an adult doesn’t know what to say to a teenager, they ask about college. Unfortunately, they fail to take into consideration that not all teens want to talk about college. Often, college talk is incredibly stressful: if a teen might not know where they want to go, if they’ll get in, or if the adult will silently judge them for it. Not only that, but these conversations take place far too often in inappropriate settings. Just because a funeral is the first time a family has seen each other in a long time does not mean one is obligated to bring up college.
College talk is anxiety inducing for a number of reasons. If a teen doesn’t know where they want to go, the adult all too often tells them to start thinking about it as if they aren’t already thinking about it and being forced into discussions about it in school. Or, there are times that parents want to talk about college, and they don’t like the college that the teen brings up. Sometimes they don’t want their teen to move too far away, or get their hopes up about a place, or go to a college they haven’t heard of. To tell a teen not to move too far severely limits options. Yes, it may be more expensive, but private schools often lack out-of-state tuition and provide more aid than public schools. To tell a student not to get their hopes up about a place may be good advice, but it’s still worth it to try. Submit an application and see what happens.
Are there not other topics to talk about? Ask about the music we listen to, or the TV shows and movies we like. What are we reading? What do we do in our free time? Ask about anything else. There are other things to talk about. Or, even better, the teen could ask something. An adult can talk about their life. There are infinite other topics to talk about.
So, adults, we teens beg you, stop asking about college.
